3 months into #coronalockdown and I’m starting to become normal. Right, when I turned a quarter-century of my life we are dealing with a global pandemic. Do we do this every 25 years or did we just piss off Maleficent or something? I don’t know because I’ve been sleeping a lot lately and secretly hallucinating about a Knight in shiny armor. I mean I do watch a lot of TV series these days but it can’t be that right!?
So far my 2020 is canceled and I’m really looking forward to losing some weight. Once upon a time when we used to go to work on a daily basis and used to go out for coffees, brunch, customer meetings, cigarette breaks, lunch, pre-lunch, post-lunch anti depressant coffee breaks, wooooah we ve had the times of our lives. Everybody got paid in full and damn the taste of alcohol on a salary night. We don’t talk about the rest of the days as most of us have to switch back to cup noodles before the end of the first week of the month so ” hey Sarah, we meeting up tonight for a game of cards wanna join? ” Sure Ill ask mom if I can come out tonight 🙂. I’m 25 and independent women pffffft. 😎
My cats probably think I’ve been kicked out of my job and they recently started bringing dead cockroaches to my bed. Breakfast in bed guys couldn’t have asked for more!🙇♀️ so my usual day starts like Tom cruise in Ninja turtles and nights are full of ” Next up: 10 things you didn’t know about Black holes” oh I have to know this at 1 am in the morning no matter what tomorrow may bring. Now tell me I’m normal or else I gotta go for therapy.
Recently one of my international friends asked me to write about a day in lockdown. So I sat down and started to write. It was 3 pm and I woke up just an hour ago. Great!
“Woke up to the sound of a humming ambulance in the distance, the room temperature seems to be of Antarctica on a sunny day, and the distant sound of firing an RPG-7….. wait! Oh, That was my roommate playing Pubg! Sorry, I do wake up on the battlefield most of these quarantine days.
“So then I open my eyes slowly, to adjust to the sunlight beaming through closed curtains, and. Carefully watch out for the hidden breakfast in bed, collect all the pet toys my cats brought me in the middle of the night store away safely, aaand finally ” F$ck f$ck f$ck f$aaaaaark ruuuun bit%ch ruuuun….. ” only to know that I ran down the stairs on full toss almost felt like Usain Bolt, ‘May Lord save the queen’ chanting 7 different religious mantras, In my underwear……. because my roommate got shot in PubG 🤬 sigh! 🤦♀️
However, what I wrote didn’t get published because she said there are too many curse words and she might as well die of coronavirus than submit that article. I have a long way to go I thought. 🤔
So my day usually doesn’t end like that and even the beginnings change almost every day. I wake up like Cinderella most of the days. like before she went to the castle actually. Most days, when your feet touch the ground off the bed I feel like I’m at the beach. The touch of sand seeping through my bare feet, the ticklish feeling and you open your eyes, you are still on your bed but ” wtf you dumb and dumber cats did you go diving in you toiletttttt? “😫 so I clean…. Cinderella you don’t deserve this little one 😔
The rest of the days I wake up with a cat’s ass on my face, sitting so peacefully and waiting for me to wake up without disturbing. Or a loud thud and you wake up like a possessed auntie from temple only to know that your cat has fallen down a chair while sleeping. 🤣 My life is funny 🤣🙄
At this point, I now realized why my article wasn’t published and I don’t think anyone again will ask me about a day in my #lockdown.
Jokes apart, anyone who thought you can lose weight by staying home and eating prepared meals, I’m sorry it doesn’t work. Go to work every day and don’t even think of being a stay at home mom. I can’t deal with cats alone here so you aren’t ready for babies yet 🤫 and definitely, you can’t lose weight!