Marriage. Personally? The idea of living with a man for the rest of my life is insane. But…
Growing up, we used to believe in marriage like a fairy tale. The perfect “happily ever after”. We are driven from childhood, to accept marriage, and consider it as one of the most important milestones in our lives, in fact, the last option for obtaining happiness and specially for women, yeah well our escape to freedom.
Now that I’m older, witnessing the bitterness of life with a drop of honey here and there, nothing is scary as a wedding and it really shows.
First of all, the never ending dress up game bridezillas, the heavy make up cost more than a motor cycle. The preparations has to start five years before and the invitees list is people whom you have never even seen before. Relatives from mars!
Truck load of flowers, matching serviettes. Brides mates, grooms boys and their matching socks. From the first dance to the cake cutting – and the 5-star luxury honeymoon.
And then, “alright partner, fairy wedding is over. let’s pay the debt for all that glittered for the rest of our lives now”
A beautiful couple who were so affectionate with each other for years gets trapped in a money crisis just like that and the idea of happily ever after shatters right in-front of their eyes.
Present day marriage is something we do for the grand-fat wedding. To show off to a world that doesn’t care anyway. If only people knew what it really meant to love someone, they will let the other person feel free. Marriage limits them. They limit each other from doing what they love and that comes from a harsh society who are never happy with their lives.
We are born free. It is our birth right. It is in fact the nature of human being to be free and explore what ever they want in life. And all of a sudden, after 25 years of existing in a carefree world, when someone comes in to your life and starts limiting the ultimate freedom, it is only natural that we we start to rebel against it.
Some of us fall in love and get married. Others get married and fall in love. But the real difference is do you really know what it is to love someone? For real?
Love, is a 4 letter bombshell word that could fool an entire universe until someone somewhere can give a real meaning to it. People do absolute nonsense in the name of love. And marriage shouldn’t be one of those for real.
One, If you are trying to get married for the sake of society or the timeline they choose for you, please don’t do it. Take your time and figure out that “when” is not the question but “who” is going to be the main question in another 10 to 15 years.
Two, marring a person to tame and tie them up in the name of responsibility isn’t going to work either. You will only end up in a broken marriage as soon as you realize that people really leave marriages to find the freedom.
Three, most of our parents final fantasy, he ticket to paradise. “Getting married to a rich man so that all of our troubles will go away within the first night”. First of all, Men aren’t ATM machines. It is really wrong to treat Men as the source of income because they are just genetically strong.
If you are scared that you ll have to grow alone in the late grand ma years of your life and there will not be anybody to take care of you, marriage isn’t the only solution my love. Because your partner is not an insurance policy for your old age. What if one of you die before you are even pregnant? Who knows we live in a crazy world that goes “ninja turtles” over toilet paper.
And finally, do not marry if you aren’t ready. Without knowing, we will be head starting an unhappy family. More broken children like us who will have to hustle hard in life to catch up to the parents that never had a family plan.
Marriage, is not an achievement nor a time measurement system nor a reward that anybody can graduate or master a PhD. Just because you are married with kids by 25 doesn’t mean that the other women are being easy. Some of us aren’t really ready yet.
Your marriage does not have to be what everyone else wants it to be. The bitter truth is that even our parents, relatives, siblings may want us to get married to a specific person. Because they, seems to be good looking, smart, earns well, good family reputation and has a secure job.
But when the initial fascination feeling fades and you have to do the true work of mastering how to love and be loved. There will be nobody. It’s you and your rich ass husband who has to sit by each other and plant the seeds of happiness, prosperity and love. To remove the weeds of insecurity, and judgments and to figure out the next 50 years of your lives.
Don’t let this new world buttercup sugar coated way of life ruin your one chance of being this human self.
To build a house buy a vehicle, help each other do it. Raise the kids together so that they gets a part of both you. Let your soul mate dream. Give them a hand and help through their struggles. Push each other for their greater goals and watch them take you to the red carpets. And finally, live the life you can afford. No you don’t have to pass your neighbor in the “who’s family is richer and happier” contest.
Responsibilities of a spouse is not to protect you from yourself and make you feel fulfilled, alive, fully insured, financially secured, and complete with jimmy choo hand bags or candlelit dinners in 5 star luxury hotels.
But being supportive, understanding, patience and hard working for your own delights, together!